2010..

This will be my last post of 2010, and I can't believe it. This year has gone by so fast, and it's amazing to me what I've accomplished in those short 365 days. I have so many people to thank for all the great things I've been able to do this year, and even more people to thank for helping me start what I've started. The saying, "it takes a village to raise a child," is one of the most true statements ever spoken. Family, friends, teachers, strangers even, these people all influence your life in one way or another and help form you into the person that you are, and I've got many friends to thank, family as well. But, if I had to thank one person for making all this possible, this blog I mean, I'd have to thank Simon Gutkin. I was really wishy-washy about starting a blog, scared that people wouldn't read it, and even if they did, they would dismiss it as being childish or badly written. He was the one who told me, "Just do it, if you don't like it, or it sucks, you can stop." I started the blog, people started reading, people started liking, and I just kept writing, so Simon, thank you, thank you, thank you! When I make my first million, you get 15% ;)

But, as one year ends, another begins. 2011 seems to hold many promising new opportunities, and I sincerely hope that I'm right about it. 2010 opened me up to a whole new part of myself that I never knew existed, and I think in 2011, that part of me will begin to develop even more, as will my writing. I've made many New Year's Resolutions, some more personal than others, but I know that they're all worth trying to accomplish. 2010 was just the beginning, everyone. I'm extremely excited to see where it goes from here. Where life takes me, and where my good friends and family will help lead me.

2010 was also a huge year of maturity for me. Those who knew me in 2009, know how much I've changed as a friend and as a person. Some believe for the better. Others, well, not so much. I'd like to take this time here to apologize to anyone that I've done wrong to. I know I'm not always the easiest person to be around, but my intentions aren't malicious. I try to please everyone, and sometimes, it blows up in my face. So for that, I'm sorry, and I'm trying to work on my humbleness and social accessibility. What I mean by that is, just being an easier person to talk to, someone to relate to. I tend to sometimes distance myself, but still try to be the center of attention. This really isn't the way to do things because to get, you have to give. If I want friendship, I need to give it too. My friends have been more than understanding with me, and for that, I thank you.

Finally, 2010 has held some of the best friendships I've had the opportunity of making. People like Simon, Abbi, Aya, Dani, Melissa, Piera, Quetzalli, Meghan, Stephanie, Lizz, Nikki, Mason, Richard, Claire, Alana, Meghan H., Matthew, Hunter, Melissa, Chloe, Jessica, Marcus, Michelle, Aubreya etc. If I forgot your name, I'm very sorry, I'm just trying to make a point. Also, I've also had the opportunity to talk to some of the most down-to-earth and amazing celebrities on Earth, some of which I still keep in touch with to this day. People like Ned Vizzini, Dania Ramirez, Justin Eugene Evans, and Ross Marquand. To those people, I'm more than grateful that you let me interview you, and really get a chance to get to know you better.

I just want to wish everyone on Earth, all 6 billion of you, a happy new year, and 2011 will be awesome. I can feel it. To end this post, I'd like to post some of the great things people have told me about the blog. These comments have made me so grateful that people can relate to what I say. You guys, the fans, the readers, whatever you want to call it, you guys are the reason I write. Without you, this blog would've been over by it's second or third week. I'm eternally grateful, that even if I decide to retire from this blog in 6 months, that I had the opportunity to do this in the first place, and make you guys laugh, cry, think, whatever it is I did to help you. Now, don't worry, I'm not going to retire from writing in 6 months. Unless of course everyone decides to abandon me. Just kidding. But anyway, on to the comments, and again, thank you so much for your continued support, and I hope you all have an amazing 2011. I know I will.

"Oh my gosh(: Joey..You have such an amazing blog; I'm blown away every time I read it (I know it sounds corny but it's true :D) I LOVE reading it anytime I get a chance (: Please don't ever stop (:"

"I hope that you turn your blog into a book. I never was so interested in a blog at all, I didn't even know what it was, but it changed my life."

"Your blogs bring joy to my life."

"I love your point of view on things."

"I love your blog. Every time you post that you have a new blog, I read it. It's very refreshing, funny and real. I love it. Keep posting and I'll keep reading!"

Thanks for reading :)

Siblings..

A couple of days ago, my sister Jia did something she'd never done before. We were getting into an argument, and for the first time ever, she made fun of my stutter. When she did this, I was absolutely speechless, and had no idea how to come back at it. Out of impulse, I yelled at her and ended the fight, but I couldn't stop thinking about what she said to me. Anyone who knows me, knows that yes, there are times when I joke around about it, but it's one of the few things that I get very defensive over. At the time, it seemed like Jia had some ulterior motives to really hurt my feelings, and get me to get so mad that it seemed like I'd be the bad guy. In retrospect, I don't think she truly had any malicious intent, but she also has to know her boundaries.



I'm not here to complain about how mad I am at her, I'm here to comment on what she did, and why she may have done it. Jia's been getting on everyone's nerves lately, and she's been throwing fits almost everyday. She never used to do that, but it's becoming more and more frequent as time goes on. I honestly think that there's a reason for it. As Jia gets older, she's getting smarter at an alarmingly rapid rate, and with this knowledge, comes curiousity. She wants to see how far she can push people before they get mad at her. I really don't have much patience, and I've got a very bad temper. She knows this, and uses it, not against me in a negative way, but in a way to get my attention. Like I said before, I'm not complaining, I'm just writing about what I see. And what I see is, Jia's maturing much more than she knows. It's kind of crazy to see this, being with Jia her entire life, and seeing how she's developed as a person. Thankfully, I also have the opportunity to see this growth with my brother Max too. I guess I'm pretty blessed huh?

Also, a couple of weeks ago, maybe a week ago, I don't keep track, I found a few of my friends from my hometown, Tenafly. It's crazy to see people that I went to kindergarten with, and see that they're still fun and cool. So, this is a shout-out to Tenafly, NJ, and all of the old friends who I got into contact with.

I'm going to start doing a little thing where I introduce a few local Phoenix artists every couple weeks, and today's artist, is my friend Patrick Wagner. He's got a profile that's on deviant art, and although there isn't a lot now, he's been working on some new pieces to put on there. So here's a link to his art, and I hope you guys get a chance to check it out:

www.patrick-rocks.deviantart.com

His art reminds me a lot of the art of Jhonen Vasquez, and this kid has a lot of talent. Hope you guys enjoy it as much as I did.

Thanks for reading guys. We passed over 800 page views this month! And 1900 all time! Thank you so much!

Yes, Marky-Mark CAN act!

I just had the privilege of seeing the film, The Fighter, and I think I owe it to myself to write a longer review than I usually do for it. Mark Wahlberg plays Micky Ward, a welterweight boxer who is being trained by his former-boxer brother Dicky, played Christian Bale. The film chronicles Ward's rise to fame as a world-class boxer. Supported by his girlfriend Charlene (Amy Adams), and his mother Alice (Melissa Leo), Micky becomes one of the most well known boxers in the world.


Mark Wahlberg, in my opinion, is a sorely underrated actor. Ever since I saw his wonderful and uplifting performance in I Heart Huckabees, I never looked back. His performances in films like The Departed (where he got his Oscar Nom), Three Kings, Invincible, The Basketball Diaries, and Boogie Nights, have proven to me that he has the talent to pull off a great performance. His portrayal of Micky Ward is another one to remember. Ward is quiet, but definitely has a voice. Being the smartest man in his family, he knows what's right and what's wrong. Ward wants nothing more than to be the best, but feels an obligation to take care of his family as well.


Christian Bale, playing Micky's crack addicted brother Dicky, is who steals the show here. How this man has not yet won an Oscar is beyond me, but it's a vicious circle, the awards business. Anyway, Dicky is Micky's driving force, but also the only reason Micky hasn't made it big. It's only when he gets arrested that Micky truly makes it big with the help of his girlfriend Charlene, perfectly played by Amy Adams. She represents all strong-willed and meaningful women who stood by their men when they needed them most. Adams' character is unforgettable.


Finally, Melissa Leo plays Micky's greedy and selfish mother Alice Ward. Leo has never ceased to amaze me with her skill, and her performance here is no exception. She truly makes you hate her, and for once, being hated is a good thing. Overall, The Fighter is 2010's The Wrestler, but make no mistake, they are not the same movie. Darren Aronofsky was set to direct this as a follow up to The Wrestler but he passed on the project to make Black Swan. David O. Russell took over the job and did a great job, while Aronofosky served as one of the executive producers, alongside the Weinstein Brothers. The Fighter can piss on Rocky's ashes anyday. I say that with complete confidence. It deserves a true A+.


So, people have been asking me how "gay" Long Beach really is. Let me give you a little insight into how gay LBC really is. Every bar within 10 miles of us has a big rainbow flag outside of it, and the names are things like, The Brit, The Gold Mine, The Falcon, etc. You can't walk down a street without seeing at least one tandem bike with two men on it both wearing pink wife beaters, and shorts that barely reach the lower thigh. Every cafe and restaurant has a shelf full of Echo magazines, and cards for free AIDS testing. Here's my personal favorite, one of our neighbors has Wi-Fi, and their network name is BigGayPenis Net. I know this because I made the mistake of trying to hack into their network. Never trying that again. So yes, Long Beach is a very gay place. Not that that's necessarily a bad thing. The shopping is good, and all the food is phenomenal. It has to be.


I've been in my dad's office all day, sitting with his awesome Assistant Manager Hernando, who actually reads this blog, so hey Hernando. Hernando is my favorite 1/2 Vietnamese and 1/2 Mexican person in the world. He's almost as funny as my dad too. Look out Henry, you got competition. But there was something my dad said today, and this goes in with my "I Can't Believe My Dad Said..." series. He said, out of the blue, to Hernando and me, "Fu#k guys, we forgot to celebrate Kwanzaa on Sunday."

Before I go, here's a small piece of one of my many infamous conversations with my friend Nikki. Enjoy, thanks for reading!

I called Nikki.

Nikki: Hey um, can I call you back in 10 minutes?

Me: Yeah su-wait, what do you need 10 minutes for?

Nikki: I'm uh-

Me: ARE YOU HAVING SEX?!

Long Beach County

Finally, after a long day of driving and waiting, I'm here in Long Beach with my dad. I'm staying for about 6 days, through New Year's. I'm pretty excited to be spending a few days with my dad, just him and me. Thing about my dad is, as funny as he intentionally is, he's usually funnier unintentionally.

My father was considering letting me stay home tomorrow while he went to work so that I could sleep, relax, maybe go to the beach. I regretfully mustered up the courage to ask him if I could take a quick bus ride to the movies that are less than a mile away. The Long Beach buses are all clean and usually extremely empty. I knew I'd be able to handle myself, as I already know the bus lines in LBC from the previous rides I've taken on it. Of course, he shot me down, being the somewhat overprotective man that he is, not that I can blame him for it.

Not 5 minutes later, I hear escape from his mouth, "Hey, can you go get me some milk at the liquor store down the street?" Of course, any reason to go for a walk, I accept, and walk the total of maybe, 200 feet to get to the store. In that time, I see numerous drunk gay men walking down the street (Long Beach is a huge gay city), loud noises, screeching tires...the works. I step into the store, and I get the milk, next to the bourbon and Hennessy. As I approach the counter, the smell of weed enters my nostrils more and more. I pay the stoned clerk quickly and leave.

I walk back to the apartment, another 200 feet, if that, encountering the same things as I did when I left the apartment at first. I walk in the door, and I honestly feel as if I had just endured an adventure of Harrison Ford proportions. Being back in that apartment where the heater had been left on for five straight days, and where I'm currently sweating profusely in, was the only place I wanted to be during Long Beach Nightlife. Can't wait for New Year's!

It's come to my attention recently how much of, how do I put this, well, a complete jerk-off I am. I mean that with the most self-respect that I can possibly muster out of that statement. But, in memoriam of all the people that I've had the pleasure of pissing off this year, I'd just like to publicly post some of the completely awful things I've said in 2010.

"What was the name of that guy you used to date, the one with the 9/11 sounding name?"

"It's like, I spend my entire day avoiding human beings, but when I need to talk to someone, everyone disappears like I'm the kid at the birthday party who has lice."

"Of course I'm waiting for you, what do you think I've been doing here this whole time, trying to stick my fist in my ass?"

"I swear, my phone makes all voices sound like a hungry mexican child dipped in hot water."

"I can't believe this, people are missing a golden opportunity to make me look like a complete ass!"

Those are the only ones I can legally publish (kidding), but if you want the full list, just message me on Facebook, and maybe even contribute to the list and remind me of an offensive thing I said this year.

That's all I've got for you now. Thanks for reading :)

Christmas!

Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you all had a great one! I'm writing this on my new laptop! I'm excited to finally have my own computer to put all my music and writing in. I named it Darby after the singer of the band The Germs. I even put my Germs sticker on it. I also got a new ipod and Kindle. I'm pretty much set for life.

So, in honor of the new rapidly approaching, I decided to release another Top of 2010 list. I picked my top 5 songs of the year. Now please, please, please note, that this is my opinion. Not yours. Thank you. Here it is.

5. "Tighten Up" By The Black Keys


4. "No Love" By Eminem Ft. Lil Wayne

3. "We No Speak Americano" By Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP

2. "Monster" By Kanye West Ft. Jay-Z, Rick Ross, Nicki Minaj, and Bon Iver

1. "Little Lion Man" By Mumford & Sons


So there it is. Agree, criticize, debate. I really don't care.

Another list I made were the most influential people of the year, in all aspects. These people may not have effected your life personally, but have definitely changed whatever field they work in.

Nicki Minaj-Not many, if any, female rappers have done what Ms. Minaj done in her three short years in the hip-hop world. Nicki also rhymed some of the best verses of the year, blowing away the veterans of hip-hop.

Mark Zuckerberg-2010 has been a great year for Facebook. A movie, Time magazine's "Person Of The Year", and over 550 million users. Zuckerberg, youngest, and smartest billionaire in the world, continues to stun the world with what he can really do.

X-Box 360 and its affiliates-Kinect, the revolutionary new gaming tool. It's what Wii wants to be, and everyone wants to own. It truly interacts the player, your body being the controller.

Amazon-Kindle, although released prior to 2010, has taken off more this year than any with the 3G. Also, many free book options, and fun games makes Kindle...awesome.

Banksy-Banksy is probably the best street artist on the planet, and 2010's Exit Through The Gift Shop showed Street Art's roots, and its inevitable demise. One of my favorite, if not my favorite film of 2010, ETTGS is a revolution, as is Banksy and his art.

Apple Inc.-The release of the iPad, forever changed the way we look at computers. Basically being a cooler looking tablet, or an enlarged iPod touch, the iPad is the next big thing. Literally.

So there's my other list of influential things in 2010.

Thanks for reading everyone, and I hope to get at least two more posts in before the end of the year. Also, thank you to the readers because we officially broke last month's page view count. Thank you guys!!!

Bittersweet Symphony

Last night, I had the privilege of seeing the film The King's Speech. The film follows King George VI, brilliantly played by Colin Firth, and his rise to power, while also chronicling his fight against his unbearable stammer. Enlisting the help of an unorthodox speech therapist, also excellently played by Geoffrey Rush, the two fight the battle of ridding of the King's stutter. The King's Speech is a film that will always stay very near and dear to my heart, only because I too have to deal with the burden of stuttering. I admit, that after the ending of this film, I cried for almost 1/2 an hour afterwards, not because I was sad, but because I had finally found something that truly understood how hard it is to have stutter.

While I agree that stuttering can be a horrible burden to have, it's also taught me a lot about tolerance and being a good person. Without stuttering, I don't think I'd be a writer, or be funny, or understand people as well as I do. It's true, I'm almost inable to speak in front of a group, but I don't think I'd trade all of the great things that stuttering has taught me throughout my life, just so I can talk in front of people.

I can't possibly give The King's Speech a letter grade, it'd be completely too biased. But what I can give it, is a thank you, for reaching out to a minority of people who's voices needed to be heard.

On another note, today was beautiful outside. Slightly rainy, cloudy, not too windy. Perfect read-in-the-park weather. So that's exactly what I did. I took my copy of All Quiet On The Western Front and went on a walk in the park, sat down, and read a chapter. It's times like these that I remember how blessed I am to have the liberty of being able to just go do stuff like this. But now, it's raining, hailing, windy, and thunderous outside. That all equates to awesome.

Today is also my good friend Alana Arcaro's birthday. Happy 15th birthday Alana! I can't believe I've known you for almost 2 years already! Crazy how much time flies by kiddo. Have a good one, I know you already did :)

Tomorrow, I get my cast, and then it's Christmas Eve/Christmas. I actually forgot that Saturday was Christmas, until my friend Rayna reminded me. I'm losing my Christmas spirit folks! I guess it kind of comes with age.

That's all I've got to say for now :) Thanks for reading.

A White-Hot Juggernaut At 200 Miles Per Hour!!

That, for those who aren't Tarantino fans, is the tag line to my favorite Quentin film, Death Proof. Just a little fun fact. I totally realized that I forgot to tell the Black Swan story!

Andrew, Simon, Daniela, my mom, Tom, and I went to go see Black Swan. The only theater playing it was Camelview 5 in Scottsdale and every rich Jew in Scottsdale seemed to be at this theater, because we waited in line for almost an hour just to get into the theater. My stepfather Tom isn't what you'd call the most patient man in the world, so in line to get the tickets, he must have said, "Forget it, we're not going," at least seven times. The man tires us out sometimes.

We finally get the tickets, and now we're waiting in this sardine can of a line, packed in there as tight as possible. Now don't forget, it's Andrew, Simon, Dani, and I in this line. We start telling these nasty jokes and stories, and all the people in the line are staring at us, completely disgusted by what we're saying. We kind of notice this, so what do we do? We get louder, and dirtier.

Fast forward thirty minutes, we're sitting in our seats, waiting for the previews to start, and all Andrew can talk about is "going to town" on himself, while Simon eggs him on, and Dani just sits silently, waiting to leave I presume. As for myself, I'm laughing at their jokes, but I'm also a little more conscious of the people around me that are looking at us.

The movie started, and it was freaking all of us out the entire time, especially Andrew. He was like, jumping in his seat and kept saying "Dude!" and all that stuff. The movie was extremely haunting and scary. Black Swan is the year's scariest, most beautiful, and haunting film. A+. But the story really starts on the ride home. The entire ride home, my mom and Tom got into a massive fight over forgettable things like bills, greediness, idiocy, etc. I'm not going to describe the entire fight, but when we got home, Tom stormed inside, and my mom and I drove around Anthem in circles for almost 1/2 an hour. We talked about everything that happened, and I tried to give her a new perspective. When we got home, I pretty much sat them both down, and talked to them about it. In the end, we all agreed on the fact that fighting isn't the best answer. That's my story for today.

Last night, I watched the Joaquin Phoenix mockumentary I'm Still Here. This film, being recieved with negative reviews, I thought it wouldn't be good. But I watched it, and realized the genius and irony behind the whole thing. It really was an excellent film. I give it an A-.

Also, I want to take a little time to give a shout out to all the devoted fans, and people who have inspired me to keep writing this blog. Without you guys, I don't know what I'd do.

Simon Gutkin-You inspired and co-founded the blog. You're the reason I'm here.

Willow-You've read every single post I've written. You represent the fan base I've had the chance to accumulate. Thank you.

Mom and Dad-For always reading and never editing/censoring what I say. Without you guys, I'd never have been a writer at all.

Piera and Quetzalli-For being the best advertisers ever, and actually reading.

Aya and Dani-My awesome "business associates" (they're really just interns). Just kidding you guys, you help me more than you'll ever know.

Also, thank you to everyone who's even taken the time out to read this damn thing. Every page-view counts, and I love you all for it.

Thanks for reading :)