Don't Call Me Shirley

This blog post is long overdue, and I've got a lot to write, so let me just get right into it.

On Friday night, I decided to watch my new film that I had bought, Natural Born Killers, not really knowing what to expect. I know that it's considered a cult classic and one of the best films of all time, but I really have never heard a lot about it in particular, just that it was a good movie. The first scene is really weird and crazy, and the film is definitely more than an acquired taste. I won't say too much about the film itself, because you've got to see it to believe it, but all I know is, Natural Born Killers deserves a spot as one of the best films of all time, and I can't believe I'm saying this, but it's a film as good as Fight Club, and this is my new favorite movie. I never thought I'd ever see a film that affected me, and agreed with me as much as Fight Club did, but now I've seen it, and its name is Natural Born Killers.

That night, after the movie was over, I got absolutely no sleep between Jia kicking me (we had to share a bed), and my brother Max started crying at about 5 AM, and decided to "talk" for three hours after that, allowing me absolutely no sleep. It's OK though, sleep is a crutch for the weak. My dad, not a believer in that philosophy, holed himself up in his room until almost noon. We left the house, going to the beach so I could practice my longboard in the parking lot for a while, and take some pictures of the shore. He got out the board, and said, "OK, giddy up and ride." Those are some words of wisdom if I ever heard them. I got on the board, and I rode.

For the first few runs around the lot, I was constantly on the verge of falling, but as I got my balance and found a comfortable stance, I was rolling around the lot Tony Hawk style. Well, not that good, but still, I was riding it, don't judge. My dad tried to do the same, but he wasn't so lucky. He got I'd say about 3 inches before he just about busted his ass. Jia, his biggest fan, screamed, "Good job daddy!" What a charmer. When I was done practicing, I took a couple pictures of the shore and the birds, and my dad took a few pictures of me skating, and on the sand. My weekend had officially been fulfilled, but little did I know that my day was just starting.

We all got into the car and drove to the first apartment that my dad lived in when he moved to California. He pointed to the exact unit, and said, "First night that me and John (his friend and ex-roommate) were moving in here, they shot a guy right there across the street and left him there." I was officially ready to leave. He took us to this Mexican restaurant next door where him and John used to eat every meal, and we ordered two burritos and chips for Jia. After taking a few bites, he confessed that the food was the same as 25 years ago, and just as good. I wasn't there 25 years ago, but that was a damn good burrito. He talked to the guy behind the counter about how he used to live here and eat there all the time. The guy said that he had been working there for 20 years!

Again, we piled into the car, and drove to my dad's friend Chris, and his job. Chris works at a TV station, per se, and records shows onto tapes, broadcasts them, edits them for errors, etc. Immediately when we got there, I was fascinated by all of the equipment, and one of Chris' work friends gave me a tour of the building and all of the things that they do. Being the nerd that I am, I took pictures of the equipment with my camera. I was definitely sad to leave that place. Chris said that if my dad dropped me with him for the day he could put me to work there doing some fun stuff; I'd never been so excited to work in my life.

From there, we went to the famous mall, the Beverly Center. My dad worked in at least 5 stores in that mall, and he was shocked at how upscale and classy it was, which was the original view for the mall back when it was first built. When we went up the escalator, I swear I saw Kourtney Kardashian coming down the escalator. Not even lying. We didn't stay at the mall for more than 20 minutes, my dad just wanted to see all the old stores that he worked in, and show me too. We left, and went to blockbuster for a few minutes. I bought: Get Him To The Greek, Remember Me, and Whip It. Not really important, but hey, I have to include everything.

We rode down Sunset Blvd, and went to my wife Kat Von D's tattoo shop, High Voltage Tattoo. I walked in, and was mesmerized by all the artwork on the walls, and the boards designed by Bam Margera and Kat Von D. We went next door to her art gallery, and looked at all of her artwork. It was very dark, Gothic, graphic, and beautiful. I bought her book The Tattoo Chronicles and had to basically be pulled out of the gallery by my father.

We drove to Mulholland Dr., where they filmed one of my favorite movies, coincidentally named, Mulholland Dr. Go figure. Anyway, we drive through there, and stumble upon one of my dad's old homes, where he lived with Chris in North Hollywood. It's really interesting to see where my dad used to live, it kind of gives me a peek into the past.

It was getting a little late, so we decided to head home, and that's where part of today's round of, I Can't Believe My Dad Said...

My father and I were talking about how we should go to Pink's Hot Dogs. "No way, hot dogs are disgusting, and I don't even eat meat." He replies, "Oh please Joey, when we went to Pink's hot dogs, you shoved that sh!t down your throat faster than a squirrely fag in a bath house." Where he comes up with these things, I don't know. The rest of that night was pretty quiet. I watched Get Him To The Greek, and attempted sleep unsuccessfully at about midnight.

The next day, Sunday, was the ride home. Taking a whopping 9 hours due to traffic, we didn't get home until about 9:30. I finally made it up to bed at 10:15, but didn't fall asleep until after 12:30 AM for some reason. I think I'm developing insomnia, which would suck. Monday was a relatively uneventful day at school, and when I got home I got my haircut. My dad called me soon after to talk about my upcoming birthday party, and being the funny guy that he is, said, "Hey, I'll just show up like I did at your conception, no problem." Goodbye Dad.

I got to work on my Language Arts poster with Jia, and it turned out pretty well. That's all I've got to say today, and I can't believe this post took me almost 40 minutes. I'm a devoted writer. That's all for now, thanks for reading guys, I hope you made it all the way through this droll.

On a darker note, Leslie Nielsen, one of the founding fathers of my childhood, and one of the funniest men to ever live, tragically died on Sunday, due to complications of pneumonia. He will be forever missed by many. R.I.P. Leslie, you were a master of your craft, and a legend.