No Idea..

Today is a day that I hate to start, and love when it's over. Road trip days. Driving from Phoenix to Long Beach in a stuffed car, no fun...usually. Sometimes, it makes for great writing, especially this trip. I haven't driven with my father to Long Beach in a long time, and today, he was taking me, and my sister Jia in his Nissan. The great thing about his Nissan is that it has a little breathalyzer machine in it. He's probably going to strangle me Homer Simpson style when he reads this, but no one is safe at this point.

We start the trip at about 9:45 AM, after a late night of watching Planet Terror about 8 hours prior hungry, tired, and already about to strangle one another. We got a quick bagel at our favorite bagel shop Mama Java's on Indian School and 36th St., and were on our way soon after. The first two hours of the trip were relatively painless, consisting of hip-hop, talking, and Jia being mostly quiet in the backseat. Maybe I could survive this after all. But once we crossed that California state border, it all went to Hell.

It all started when we ate at this pretty bad Mexican restaurant, called something like, Casitas Dos, or something to that...Caucasian effect. We walk inside, and instantly I'm reminded of the diner scene in Dumb and Dumber for some reason. We sit down, get cold chips with bad salsa, order our food, and wait 20 minutes. When it finally comes out, it's not as bad as I expected, but still nothing better than El Pollo Loco, or Jack In The Box. Maybe I'm being harsh. We leave, my stomach hurting already, and my dad gets into this joking mood that I'm nowhere near ready for. I try to get a little shut-eye since I'm completely exhausted, but between my dad and Jia continuously pulling my hair, slapping my face, poking my throat, and blindsiding me with Mike Tyson punches, sleep isn't an option at this point.

We start to play a little movie trivia. He beats me 21 to 15. I was so close. If only I had paid more attention to The Godfather, I might have had a fighting chance. We stop at a Burger King so I can release the Kraken, and we stumble upon an exhibit of like-like, robotic dinosaurs that are massive. I get my dad some coffee at the BK Lounge, and I see him and Jia looking at all the giant dinosaurs which somewhat dwarf the few buildings that are around it. The wind was blowing so hard I felt like I was going to see Dorothy and Toto at any minute, so we all piled back into the car and drove away.

Now, we also have Nacho, our little black Chihuahua with us in the car, and he's just looking around with curiousity at all the new things he's seeing. Out of complete boredom, I make up a new word for Cougar, or, women in there 40's who try to sleep with men in their 20's. I think it's a pretty funny name, and I think I should add it on Urban Dictionary. Dino-whores. Oh yes, that did in fact just happen.

Fast forward about 45 minutes, and my dad, out of the blue, says, "Wow Joey, your farts are nasty it's like you just got up and took a giant sh!t in my nostrils," which brings me to a new "segment" on my blog, called, Did My Dad Really Just Say...

I have to admit, I give a lot of credit to the book Sh!t My Dad Says, but it seems like the the father in that book, and my father are too alike for me not to have a little bit of fun with it myself. So, in the future, just look for little things like that, there's a lot, trust me.

We finally get to Anaheim, and we start walking around the GardenWalk, the place where my dad does his business (That sounds so gangsta). We walk around the upstairs mall, and I walk into the skate shop O'Neill. I see longboards there that are 20% off for Black Friday sales. I see an opportunity at a birthday gift and I pounce. Also, that same day, every purchase over $100 warrants a free Mp3 player apparently. So, I buy the board, and for $141 I get a new board, and a new Mp3 player. I'm pretty happy with myself.

Now, I'm just in the office, writing a post, even though I don't think I'm allowed to be using these computers. Oh well, what's done is done at this point.

Thanks for reading :)