Sunday, January 30, 2011

Christown is where it's at!

I was on Facebook, and I was scrolling through a page of things that I can "Like." Among the many options, I saw Amusement Parks. Now usually, I'm a Like whore, and I just Like things that would go under the category of "Slightly Enjoy", so I had no reason to not press Amusement Parks, right? Wrong. The more and more that I contemplated pressing that little Like button, the less and less I actually wanted to, because the less and less the idea of amusement parks actually appealed to me. Now, most of you are thinking, "wait, Joey, amusement parks are so much fun." But are they really? Think of it in a retrospective point of view. Unless you're there at 6 AM sharp, you usually end up spending almost an hour in line for some mediocre thrill that lasts no more than five minutes. Also, be sure to wear running shoes, because that's what you'll be doing 75% of the time, trying to squeeze in a few rides before the park closes. It's also what you'll be doing when you make the forgivable mistake of eating first, and then going on rides.

Another "perk" of amusement parks, no matter where you go, there are at least fifty children under the age of seven have a complete tantrum in the middle of the street. It's a safety hazard parents, get your brats out of the way. The last thing we need is a dead five year old from Milwaukee on our hands; that involves way too much paper work, folks. My final complaint of the institution known as a theme park, are the prices of food. What goes through the mind of executives during board meetings? "Yes, let's exploit the need of food and water, charge $7 for a bottle of water, $3.50 for a churro, $7.50 for a piece of pizza, and $3.00 for a cookie, take their money, and call it a day. Oh, and no free refills folks." I'm pretty sure that that's exactly what goes through their minds. Same goes for gifts. I refuse to pay $25.00 for a "Collectible Souvenir Cup" that will probably spend most of its life shoved in the back of a cup cabinet, collecting dust and looking pretty. So in the end, is it really worth pressing the Like button? After all that goes through your head? I think not.

Phoenix, especially near where I live, has an array of interesting people of all walks of life. Yesterday and today especially, I observed these people in their "natural habitat". I started off my day Saturday at Arizona Mills, a mall in Tempe that is definitely normal. I got a couple shirts and pants, messed around, and that was all fine. We ate at this "Japanese" restaurant, which served Chinese noodles, Chinese sauces, and had a Mexican and a Korean working behind the counter. I can't complain, at least I didn't have to pay for it. From there, we went to Christown mall on 19th avenue, AKA, the hood. Christown has always been one of my favorite people-watching spots in Phoenix, because what you see there, you see nowhere else. I feel like the rule for shopping there is, "The more morbidly obese you are, the tighter your clothes need to be." That may sound funny reading it, but please, believe me when I say, watching it wasn't. Another thing I couldn't help but look at was the Ghetto-Fab that was walking around there. The 3 inch fake nails, with the fake looking extensions in the hair. To top it off, sweatpants that accompanied the 4 inch also fake stiletto heels.

I can describe a lot more, but there was one incident in particular that was extremely funny to me. I was in Wal-Mart (of course), and there was this man with a cart full of completely unrelated items, with bulgy eyes, like he was looking for someone. In some of the new and improved Wal-Marts, there are screens that advertise some of the more relevant and prominent products. This Wal-Mart, instead of having usable bathrooms (trust me I found out the hard way), they installed these screens into almost every aisle. This guy, with his watchdog eyes, stopped at every single screen and stared at each one for almost a minute straight, surveying the product, asking himself "Do I really need this, or can it wait?" I looked on at this man with fascination, actually hoping that he would pick one of the things that he so intently studied. It was like watching this amazing action movies with great effects and plot twists, except it was a guy staring at an Old Spice commercial play four times before finally deciding that maybe he didn't need it.

Today, a similar incident occured, except that it was inside a Filiberto's on 30th street and Indian School. My dad was really hungry, and we were on our way to the movies. We both love the food at Filiberto's, so we decided to stop in quickly for some tacos. He got two chicken tacos, and I got a cheese quesadilla. We get our food, and sit down. We were two of three people in the place, the other being a fat, probably homeless, probably crack-addicted, black woman wearing no shoes. Her hair was "styled" so that there were these 3 inch torpedoes sticking out of her scalp everywhere, uneven. She had a buffet of food in front of her, just shoving it down her throat loudly, with no consideration for the other people in the restaurant. Those people being my dad and I. He ate his food while i cut up my grease quesadilla, sorry cheese, and dug in. I ate quickly, hoping to get us out of there as quickly as humanely possible.

From there, we went and saw The Dilemma, it being my second viewing. Not that I actually paid attention to it the first time, but actually "watching" it for real, I liked it. It's definitely not a comedy by normal definition, but it's pretty good, and has a great performance by Vince Vaughn. I loved it's honest take on relationships, and how truthful most of it was. I would recommend couples going to see this movie.

I'm going to end this post with a little shout out to my friend Chloe Grace Rutledge, AKA Pippa January, who wrote about me in her fashion blog this week. I really enjoyed the article, even if some of the information on me wasn't totally correct. I honestly don't care about that, I just felt honored to be selected for a fashion anything, seeing as I spend a lot of time on what I wear. You can check out the full article at, http://thelifeofpippa.blogspot.com/.

Thanks for reading guys, hope I gave you a good laugh.

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